As a recovering perfectionist, I have spent most of my life avoiding trying new things. Basically, the math in my head went something like this:

• I receive love when I am perfect (when I am perfectly behaved, when I follow the rules, when I get 100% on a test or project, etc)

• Therefore when I am not perfect, I am not worthy of love

• Well, that’s terrifying

• I can’t risk not receiving love

• Therefore I will only do things that I know I can do perfectly

• NO NEW THINGS!

Our culture values striving for excellence, which usually turns into striving for perfection – on the surface, this seems really admirable. Why shouldn’t you always try to be perfect at what you do?