Creating Meaningful Family Rituals and Traditions
Welcoming a new baby into your family is a time of change and transformation. Because things are already shifting, it’s also a time that lends itself well to updating your rituals and traditions around the holidays.
There are many reasons we hold onto old rituals and traditions (you love them, social conditioning, passive aggressive family shenanigans, obligation) but it never hurts to take stock and see if what you’ve always done is still working for you now.
(Bonus, if your family or friends get weird about it, you can blame the baby. 😏)
Here are five questions to consider for building the type of holiday time that serves you and your family:
Image description: a baby is being held by an adult’s hand. They’re wearing a red shirt, long-sleeved shirt that says “Merry Christmas” and are smiling. The background is a Christmas tree with glowing lights in soft focus.
What do the holidays mean to you? Is it about family? Time spent with loved ones? Over-the-top gift giving? Good food? Non-stop Christmas music from December 1-31? There’s no right or wrong answer here (although asshole brain will try to tell you there is). Be honest with yourself. What about the holidays makes it shiny for you? Be honest too if that answer is “Nothing”.
How do you want to feel during the holidays? Do you love the whirlwind? Do you prefer to keep it slow and steady? Is it time to hibernate, rest, and integrate the rest of the year or is it time to go out with a bang? Again, there’s no right answer, just what’s true for you.
How do you want your kids to feel during the holidays? Also, what are your kids’ unique personalities and needs? Are you an extrovert with introverts, or vice versa? How will you balance differing needs for rest and play?
What special traditions or rituals from your family of origin and/or from your partner’s family of origin do you want to keep? What do you want to get rid of? What’s something you always wished you could do but haven’t?
What’s your capacity? <— I’m putting this one last, but honestly, it’s the most important. How much physical/mental/emotional capacity do you have during this time to make magic happen? If it’s not much, that’s 1000% okay. Notice what is available to you, do that and no more. Asshole brain is going to kick up a storm about this (“‘Good’ parents pull out all the stops” and other greatest hits), but just because there’s a lot of noise, doesn’t mean you need to listen to a word of it. Give yourself grace. It’s a beautiful gift. ❤️
Now that you’ve answered these questions, you can start making decisions about what to keep, what to get rid of, and what you may want to add. Remember, there aren’t any rules – just the ones you’ve made for yourself. So don’t be afraid to do things outside of the box.
Thoughtful and personalized family rituals and traditions around the holidays (or anytime really) are a powerful way to create connection and meaning within your family.
