The Practice of Practice

The Practice of Practice

As a recovering perfectionist, I have spent most of my life avoiding trying new things. Basically, the math in my head went something like this:

  • I receive love when I am perfect (when I am perfectly behaved, when I follow the rules, when I get 100% on a test or project, etc)

  • Therefore when I am not perfect, I am not worthy of love

  • Well, that’s terrifying

  • I can’t risk not receiving love

  • Therefore I will only do things that I know I can do perfectly

  • NO NEW THINGS!

Our culture values striving for excellence, which usually turns into striving for perfection – on the surface, this seems really admirable. Why shouldn’t you always try to be perfect at what you do?

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Relationships Are Hard

Relationships Are Hard

Welcoming a new baby into your family is an exciting and joyous occasion and it also puts significant strain on even the most rock solid relationship. Drs. John and Julie Gottman discovered that “67% of couples had become very unhappy with each other during the first three years of their baby’s life. Only 33% remained content.” (source >>)

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Why I Won't Promise To Teach You Everything You Need To Know About Birth

Why I Won't Promise To Teach You Everything You Need To Know About Birth

When preparing to give birth and become a parent, Birthing From Within teaches that there are three kinds of knowing that are essential to the process. It is essential to explore all three kinds of knowing because even if we spent every day together for the next four years learning only about birth and postpartum and parenting, I still would not be able to teach you everything you need to know. Why? Because at its heart, birth is a rite of passage.

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Three Essential Items for Your Birth Bag

Three Essential Items for Your Birth Bag

Packing your birth bag is a ritual of modern pregnancy.

Maybe you’re the type of person who packs your bag weeks in advance – you like to feel prepared, with lots of time to spare. Or maybe you’re the type to pack your bag during early labor – a practical busy job to keep you distracted during those first crampy contractions.

No matter when or how you pack your bag, you’ll likely have researched what to put in it. There are many sample lists available online (some of them pages long!) and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.

We’d like to simplify things for you.

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Mother

Mother

Mother's Day. Simple enough, right? It's a day to honor the mothers in our lives. But it seems that as I get older, this day has become a complex mix of celebration, remembrance, and grief.

I am blessed to be able to honor the mothers of my heart this day. The strong and wise women whom I have chosen to welcome into my life and who have walked along side me on my journey. We have shared laughter and tears, great times and damn crappy times. They have imparted wisdom, forgiven foibles, shored up my confidence, and led by example. I am blessed because this list of women in my life is long...

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Using Busy As An Excuse

Using Busy As An Excuse

This was the tail end of a text conversation I had recently with a dear friend of mine who was (at the time) in her last few weeks of midwifery school. I threw that last comment out without really thinking about it, until I hit send and re-read it.

What she said really did sound like my life. In fact, most of my adult life could be described that way: "Lots of interest and zero time".

That never really bothered me before. But these days, it's kind of getting under my skin...

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6 Reasons Holiday Birthdays Aren't So Bad

6 Reasons Holiday Birthdays Aren't So Bad

If your baby is estimated to arrive sometime this month, you may have felt a little bit concerned when you first did the math - we all know how much it sucks to have a birthday close to Christmas. But have no fear! Since Christine and I both celebrate our birthdays within two weeks of Christmas, we thought we would compile a list of reasons that having a birthday close to Christmas actually rocks...

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Doulaing While Parenting - 4 Ways It Can Work

Doulaing While Parenting - 4 Ways It Can Work

Doulaing full time can be a tricky business at the best of times, but add small children into the mix and you may wonder if it's even possible. The logistics of being on call with young kids can be overwhelming, but with some solid planning and a bit of out-of-the-box thinking, there are ways to make it sustainable. Here are 4 possibilities...

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Why Doula?

Why Doula?

Almost every single time that we interview with a potential client, Christine and I are asked why we became doulas? Why do this work? It seems a little crazy on paper: being on call all the time, leaving for work and having no idea when you'll be home, spending hours on your feet and only taking bathroom and snack breaks if it's an appropriate time to do so...

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Risk Doesn't Have To Be a Four Letter Word

Risk Doesn't Have To Be a Four Letter Word

We are a risk averse culture. We've all heard it said. But what does it mean? The Oxford dictionary defines risk averse as "not willing to do something if it is possible that something bad could happen as a result". Many of us make decisions in this way - we consider the worst possible outcomes and try to avoid making choices that might lead to those outcomes. On the surface, that makes a lot of sense. But the reality is that decision making is much more nuanced than that.

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