As a recovering perfectionist, I have spent most of my life avoiding trying new things. Basically, the math in my head went something like this:
I receive love when I am perfect (when I am perfectly behaved, when I follow the rules, when I get 100% on a test or project, etc)
Therefore when I am not perfect, I am not worthy of love
Well, that’s terrifying
I can’t risk not receiving love
Therefore I will only do things that I know I can do perfectly
NO NEW THINGS!
Our culture values striving for excellence, which usually turns into striving for perfection – on the surface, this seems really admirable. Why shouldn’t you always try to be perfect at what you do?