All in Childbirth Preparation
Welcoming a new baby into the family is a momentous occasion, one that can be even more magical when older siblings are involved. Homebirth offers a unique and intimate setting where children can witness the miracle of birth in a safe and supportive environment. However, preparing older children for this experience requires thoughtful planning and open communication. Here’s how to ensure your older children are ready and supported when attending the upcoming homebirth of their sibling.
The best thing about routine cervical exams?
You don't need them!
No really.
You don't need them to tell how far along a labour is.
Do you ever get tired of hearing about surrender? Yay, me too.
The reason birth workers go on about it so much though, is because surrender is often a necessary part of birth and parenting – sometimes it’s surrendering to the power of the surges running through your body, or surrendering to the need for unwished for medical interventions, or surrendering to the sleep deprivation and high needs of your newborn in the early weeks of postpartum.
“Stepping out your front door is the first intervention in birth.” ~ Unknown
I imagine that folks may have strong reactions to that statement. Perhaps it feels confronting, or perhaps it feels obvious.
How it feels to you will depend a lot on the stories you’ve heard about birth your whole life.
The stories your parents told, your grandparents told, the stories you saw on tv or in movies, the stories your friends have told, what you’ve read on the internet or heard in podcasts, and the stories your maternity care provider has taken in and in return shares with you. All of these stories combine to create the story you personally believe about birth – about what makes it safe, or not safe, about what makes a birth “good” or “bad”.
Labourland is the place you go when you’re in labour (particularly unmedicated labour):
As oxytocin flows…
As contractions intensify…
As endorphins soften the world…
As focus and energy turn ever inward and down…
You enter into labourland.
Do you know what you need? Most of us would say we do.
But have you ever had those moments where you are looking around at your life and you KNOW you have everything you could possibly need and yet, somehow, you still feel a bit off, a little dissatisfied, certain there MUST be something more?
(And because we LOVE to have feelings about our feelings, you of course immediately feel bad for feeling dissatisfied because - LOOK! - you have everything you need)
Our culture has a passionate love affair with the estimated due date. I mean – we don’t just love it. We wine and dine it and send it roses on Valentine’s Day.
The first thing you do when you find out you're pregnant? Find a due date calculator to figure out when your baby will be here.
The first question you're asked when others find out you're expecting? “What's your due date?”
Once you have that date, you put it in your calendar, look forward to it, wait for it, count down to it, and (heaven forbid!) if you go past that date you'll often feel anxious (at best) or full blown panic (at worst).
Here's what might be going on.
Have you ever found yourself leaving a care provider's appointment thinking "What just happened?" and wishing you had a few more minutes with them to figure out what they were recommending AND how you feel about it?
If so, here are five questions to consider:
It can be challenging enough trying to navigate our own choices in childbirth. When we add the expectations of others into the mix, it gets downright stressful. How can we manage the expectations of others? Let’s dig a little deeper.
When preparing to give birth and become a parent, Birthing From Within teaches that there are three kinds of knowing that are essential to the process. It is essential to explore all three kinds of knowing because even if we spent every day together for the next four years learning only about birth and postpartum and parenting, I still would not be able to teach you everything you need to know. Why? Because at its heart, birth is a rite of passage.
In an ideal world, every pregnant person would have the ability to carefully and intentionally choose a maternity care provider who was a good match for them.
In Calgary, the reality of choosing a maternity care provider is more akin to “You get what you get and you don’t get upset”. This means that sometimes you and your maternity care provider are not a good fit for each other and the relationship may suffer from a breakdown in communication, mutual respect, and/or trust.
Sometimes, you may be able to change care providers. But if not, or you choose to stay with your current care provider, what can you do to cultivate a more positive, functional relationship? How can you advocate for yourself and your baby in a kind and assertive way?
If you are interested in writing a birth plan you may be wondering how to go about it. What should you include? How detailed should it be? How do you make sure it’s effective? Here is what we suggest to our clients.
