All tagged Postpartum
(And how we can start changing that)
You’re sitting in an exam room, trying to make sense of what your provider just said, and even though you have a question or concern, you can’t quite bring yourself to speak up. You nod. You smile. And later, you replay the moment over and over, wishing you’d asked, pressed pause, or said, “Actually, I’m not sure I agree.”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
Do you ever get tired of hearing about surrender? Yay, me too.
The reason birth workers go on about it so much though, is because surrender is often a necessary part of birth and parenting – sometimes it’s surrendering to the power of the surges running through your body, or surrendering to the need for unwished for medical interventions, or surrendering to the sleep deprivation and high needs of your newborn in the early weeks of postpartum.
Why is asking for help so. damn. hard?!
Our culture values independence. In fact, we value it so highly that we’d often rather be miserable, exhausted, overwhelmed, and independent then thriving, joyful, rested, and interdependent.
Here’s the secret though – it doesn’t have to be that way. The only reason it IS that way is because we’ve all agreed to it. So if enough of us decided another way is better, then THAT would be the way.
I usually do a year end wrap up in January but this year I’m not feeling it. Taking a look back at our stats feels a bit like trying to put a big ol’ shine on a smelly turd. I’m not a big fan of positivity for positivity’s sake.
I did want to share two things that capture some of what I’m feeling about 2020 though.
Five years ago, I was pregnant with my first daughter.
I was a birth doula, attending births in my 33rd week of pregnancy.
Round and ripening, I supported other birthing families as their babies made their way earthside.
I knew my time was coming soon.
Duality: an instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something.
There is a tug of war at times within.
I want to return to work. I don’t want to leave my kids.
I want to leave my kids to pursue my passion. I feel like staying at home in our cocoon.
Does one feeling negate the other? Do they have to be in opposition, or can both be true at the same time?
So while 2020 has been The Worst, that doesn't mean your birth has to be too - you deserve calm, peaceful energy around you as you prepare to bring your baby into the world.
And as long as your baby is still inside your uterus, you can still hire a doula. (Once, I was hired by someone ALREADY IN LABOUR so if you aren't in labour yet, you're literally ahead of the curve!)
Of course, your doula will show up and take care of you and feed you ice chips and wipe your brow and help you through contractions. That's actually just a small part of what we do.
My 17 year old self would never have guessed that my life would end up here….a husband (who works out of town), three kids (each with a different mom), a roommate, dogs – and all of us living together in one home.
I would have guessed the kids part, and the marriage part, but that’s where the similarities would have stopped – I never would have guessed I would be living the blended family life.
My vision of life was simple – instead, I have had to learn to co-parent, manage other people’s family dynamics on top of my own and, in the process, have discovered an existence that is vibrant, complicated, and 100% worth it.
I am a mother of three children: an adopted daughter, a stepson, and a biological daughter.
Stephanie and I recently took the four-day DONA International Postpartum Doula Training here in Calgary taught by AJ Hadfield, PDT/PCD(DONA), CD(DONA), CLE. With so much valuable knowledge shared with Stephanie and myself, we wanted to share some of the wisdom with you directly. I sat down with AJ to share her experience on what families REALLY need to know about bringing their new baby home. Here’s what AJ generously offered us.
Stepping into new motherhood, I felt really prepared. I had an arsenal of doulas in my corner and I had a library of resources to draw from (should I need them). I felt quite confident that I could face the unknown and roll with the punches. Even with all the reassurances, it was still an initiation that my heart wasn’t prepared for.
Welcoming a new baby into your family is an exciting and joyous occasion and it also puts significant strain on even the most rock solid relationship. Drs. John and Julie Gottman discovered that “67% of couples had become very unhappy with each other during the first three years of their baby’s life. Only 33% remained content.” (source >>)
We are excited to introduce you to Registered Acupuncturist Megan Gusdal, who works at the ATMA Collective in NW Calgary. She offers intuitive, gentle, and effective support to clients for pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period. If you have questions about acupuncture and how it may help you, read on.
